Before The Lights Go Out

This is a non-post. I dont know what I am going to write. Much in the same manner as I dont know what is going to happen tomorrow. Or what I am going to do with my life. I feel a restlessness brewing inside me. I am searching for something. I am trying to achieve something. I am now officially part of the mad race. Congratulations to me.
I am still getting used to Life. Everytime I start thinking of it, I wanna scream my lungs out saying WTF! Life has to be the single craziest thing around us. And consciousness more so (did i just contradict myself? Shit happens. Just like Life).
I am a sieve. With randomly sized holes. Wading through something I want to describe as Ether. Vivid and granular. I retain some randomly sized parts of that ether depending upon where it tries to pass through me. And I cherish those parts. I call them memories.
This is all I keep doing. This is all I will continue to do. Somedays I will be motivated to wade faster through the Ether and somedays I will go slow. Somedays I will want to just give it all up and meander sideways. But I will keep moving. Till one day, I can move no more. And then I will be no more either. And then the lights will go out. I will vanish. Without a trace. So why am I wading?